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They won’t even become clichés

July 22, 2009

New York Times blogger Ben Schott recently asked readers to send in “new similes fit for the times in which we live”. He got over 200 suggestions.

On Monday he announced the winners, such as they are. Writers beware; not only has someone beat you to it, but it probably went stale as soon as they did.

As tight-lipped as a Supreme Court nominee.
As copious as a Bailout dollar.
As positive as an M.L.B. star player’s doping test.
Sly like a Fox news broadcast.
As broke as California.
As worthless as a Madoff letterhead.
As visible as Sanford on the Appalachian Trail.
As mercurial as a moose-shooting Alaska former-you-know-what.
Drinks like an S.U.V.
Like being between a Barack and a hard place.
As fleeting as a Tweet.

It kind of reminds me of an award given out … is it yearly? … for the worst opening line in a novel. I like the Fox News one, though, if only because I can’t figure out what it’s supposed to mean.

Still, it’s a fun list … I think. (Are all similes so agonizing? Or just the ones we put thought into?)

-bd

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