How NOT to sell me your book…

June 29, 2009

Seriously, this is the start of an email I received today from somebody promoting his new book:

I’m not a professional author. I don’t have a publishing company or literary agent. In fact, I had my mother-in-law proofread my book because I couldn’t afford a professional proof reader…

Made me want to click the “BYE NOW” button.



  1. Oh-my-GOD that is funny! The places I went with that…
    “I’m not a professional author, but I play one on TV.”
    “I’m not a professional author. As a matter of fact, I’m an idiot. But I’m an idiot with a book.”

    Hahahahahahaha – that will entertain me ALL day, until I go see Clapton tonight.

  2. You DID invite him to SCWCLA7, right? He can learn to SUCK LESS!

  3. MSG,
    Too funny–he has a real future in sales, huh?

    My fave of the week from my submission pile:
    “The attached newspaper article from the Heartland Courier will give you an idea of what my book is all about”.
    Yeah, don’t bother taking the time to tell me about your book…in a query email!

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