Follow up on Perfomance Slam at California Center for the Arts

April 21, 2008

Hey friends, I just thought, since I was involved, that I’d give you all a follow about the Performance Slam we had at the California Center for the Arts, Escondido. I wanted to fill you in on how it went and who took home the grand prize.

And the winner was….

It was me!

Can you believe it?

Me me me me me me me!

I won!


Seriously, I NEVER thought I had a chance at winning this thing. Ask Michael. I told him I was certain the crowd was going to drag me off the podium and dismember me alive after I read my piece.

Here’s the back story.

Several months ago I was invited by the California Center for the Arts, Escondido to perform in what they called a multi-genre performance slam inspired by an art exhibit they were showing in their gallery.

They asked 6 performers of different genres to visit the art gallery (at our leisure) and observe the current showing called Innocence is Questionable by several artists. Each of the performers were supposed to compose a piece based on the art that we observed and then on Sunday, April 20, we would gather at the gallery to perform our pieces before an audience.

There were 6 performers, each from different genres, which were: music, dance, performance art, theater, poetry, and satire – the latter being the genre assigned to me and largely the reason I never thought I had a shot at this thing, because satire, as I understand it, is a combination of humor and critique. It’s a genre I love dearly, but, where everyone else’s performance piece paid homage to the art, I tried to have a little fun at the art’s expense.

Lo and behold, the crowd loved it. They gave me a huge applause and then, with the help of color coded ballots, I was named the winner.

Ted Washington, author, poet, publisher and artist was the M.C. He was also the “performance art” contestant. He did a riotous piece about the folly of plastic shopping bags, spreading hundreds and hundreds of them around the room and then blowing them about to show how they eventually will spread all around the planet, all the time soliloquizing plastic bag facts. We were told he was a very close second.

When my name was called out as the winner, and I walked up to the podium to receive my check, it was just so weird. I never win this kind of shit (artsy-fartsy folk don’t usually like my work). But up there, at the podium, I felt like a princess, like I had just won a pageant…

“…and I’d like to thank my posture coach, and my makeup girls, and God….”

Then they asked me to perform an encore. So I read some stuff from my book, and ended up selling a bunch of books too.

Wow, wow, wow.

It really was my night. In fact, after the performance, I went down to O’Connell’s to the Candye Kane benefit and wouldn’t you know it, I won a raffle prize there as well! 30 buck gift certificate for the 3rd Corner restaurant.

I love 3rd Corner.

And it’s around the block from my house!

Oh magic night, I will remember thee forever!




  1. That’s so cool, Ed!
    Will you be wearing your tiara at the conference in September? 😉

  2. Dude, you’ve always been our burly little princess. Congratulations!

  3. Yes Gayle, I will be wearing my Tiara, so long as they don’t find my x-rated video gaffe on the internet and dethrone me again.

  4. Congrats my lovably lame, lamely lovable, lovelamely, lameable friend!! I’m thrilled for you….

  5. I forgot to ask, Ed – in your acceptance speech, did you remember to ask for world peace?

    Ok, I’m done. Seriously, your win was so freakin’ great! And selling more of your books had to be icing on the cake!

  6. Well, Jiminy Humpadelic Crispycakes, Ed. Now you’re probably going to go and get an intern or something like that, now that you’ve hit the big time.

    Good show, mate. You realize, now, you owe us an encore performance at LA6, right? We’ll have MSG include it in the brochure. Flyer. PDF. Mailer. That piece of paper thingy I showed my dad last time when he was in town that really, really impressed him.

    Anyway, yeah. Limited engagement, encore performance, by popular demand.

    You’re a superstar now.

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